As the calendar turns and we welcome the New Year, many of us are drawn to the familiar ritual of setting resolutions. These resolutions often center around goals like getting that promotion, getting fit, buying a house, or improving our relationships. The desire to achieve these tangible milestones is deeply ingrained in our culture. After all, we live in a goal-driven society, where the value of success is often measured by what we can acquire, achieve or complete.
But while goal-setting is an important part of personal growth, let’s consider a different approach to the New Year. Instead of focusing solely on what you want to accomplish in the year ahead, trying thinking about what you “stand for” – your values.
What Are Values?
Values are not about what you want to achieve; values are about how you want to live your life. They’re the principles that guide your actions, thoughts, and behaviors. Unlike goals, which are often measurable and outcome-oriented, values are deeper, personal commitments to the kind of person you want to be. They reflect your ethical compass and help direct your choices in all areas of life.
As an example, you might have a goal to lose weight or exercise more, but a value like self-compassion can help you approach these goals in a way that’s kind and forgiving, rather than restrictive and punitive. You may aim to advance in your career, but the value of integrity can guide you in making choices that align with your personal ethics rather than simply chasing success at any cost.
Why Are Values More Powerful Than Resolutions?
The beauty of values is that they are always within your control, regardless of circumstances. Goals may be out of your reach for a variety of reasons—whether due to external factors, setbacks, or unexpected life events—but you can always choose to live according to your values.
For example, you might not be able to control when you get that promotion at work, but you can still embody professionalism, focus, and dedication in your daily work life. Even if you don’t get the job you were aiming for, you can still feel empowered by the effort and commitment you put into your role.
Similarly, while you might set a goal to get married or find love, focusing on the value of being loving, caring, and authentic in your relationships—whether with a partner, friends, or family—can bring deeper fulfillment and connection.
You may even have a fitness goal, but focusing on the value of health and self-care can shift your focus away from external appearance or outcomes, toward taking better care of your body and mind.
The Flexibility of Values
The key to values is that they are not tied to a specific outcome. They are more flexible and adaptable than goals. You can’t always predict when or how your goals will come to fruition, but by focusing on your values, you can feel aligned with your authentic self no matter where you are in life.
This is especially relevant when dealing with difficult or challenging circumstances. Life isn’t always smooth, and you can’t control everything that happens to you. But you can control how you react and how you show up in the world, regardless of external conditions. When you live in alignment with your values, you begin to cultivate a sense of inner peace and fulfillment that doesn’t depend on the world around you.
Exploring Your Values Through Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a therapy approach to mental wellness that encourages individuals to accept their thoughts and feelings, commit to values-driven actions, and live more fully in the present moment, despite difficult emotions or challenges. In ACT, we place a significant focus on values. ACT helps individuals move away from the relentless pursuit of goals that may lead to stress and anxiety and instead focus on living a life that is in alignment with their deepest values.
One particularly powerful exercise in ACT is the 80th birthday exercise. This is a simple but profound activity that helps individuals connect with their core values by imagining themselves at the end of their life.
The 80th Birthday Exercise: Connecting with Your Values
Here’s how you can try it yourself: Imagine that you’re celebrating your 80th birthday, surrounded by friends, family, and loved ones. These are the people who have been with you throughout your life—the ones who have witnessed your journey, your struggles, and your growth. Now, picture each person standing up to give a toast in your honor.
What would you want them to say about you? What role did you play in their lives? What impact did you have? Would they talk about your generosity, integrity, or sense of humor? Would they speak about your strength, empathy, or courage? What would you want them to remember about you in the years to come?
Reflecting on these questions can help you identify the values that are most important to you. These are the qualities and characteristics that you want to cultivate and express throughout your life. Whether you realize it or not, these values shape your actions, your relationships, and the legacy you leave behind.
Living Your Values in the New Year
As you step into this New Year, consider shifting your focus from rigid resolutions to living in alignment with your values. When you prioritize your values, you create a meaningful, fulfilling life — one where you don’t need to rely on specific outcomes to feel proud of yourself. Instead of worrying about achieving a set goal, you can take pride in being the kind of person you want to be, every single day.
This doesn’t mean abandoning your goals altogether. You can still have specific, measurable goals, but keep them in perspective. Allow your values to guide how you approach those goals. Even if you don’t meet every goal, you can still feel proud of the person you’ve become and the way you’ve chosen to live.
Practical Tips for Living Your Values in the New Year
- Identify your core values: Take some time to reflect on what matters most to you. Use the 80th birthday exercise to help clarify what you want your life to stand for.
- Set value-based intentions: Rather than setting rigid resolutions, set intentions based on your values. For example, if compassion is a core value, set an intention to be more present and understanding with others.
- Take action in alignment with your values: Look at your day-to-day activities and see how they align with your core values. Even small actions—like practicing gratitude, showing kindness, or prioritizing self-care—can reinforce your values.
- Be kind to yourself: Remember that living according to your values is not about perfection. It’s about consistency and growth, not a destination. Be compassionate with yourself if things don’t always go as planned.
- Reconnect regularly: Regularly revisit your values and ensure that your actions are still aligned with them. Life can get busy, but taking time to reconnect with your core values will help you stay on track.
Embrace the New Year with Purpose
As we begin this New Year, let it be a year focused not just on achieving outcomes, but on living with intention. Embrace the power of your values—they will be your guiding light, helping you move through challenges with grace and clarity. While goals may come and go, your values will always remain at the heart of your journey. So this year, let’s make a commitment to our values, not just our resolutions. In doing so, we can make this year truly meaningful, fulfilling, and aligned with the person we want to be.